Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Getting Stuff Done.

Wow! We assembled the bookcases last night.

I was going to put up pictures, but I accidentally resized the whole batch all wrong and I don't feel like taking more pictures. I really have to learn to not delete things until I've checked that the resize worked right...oh well.

Anyway. so we have bookcases in our living room. The computer is in the living room, frequently doubling as a television. We rearranged our bedroom so that Yaakov now has a place to put his glasses when he goes to sleep. Really, he has a WHOLE nightstand, all to himself. I got bulbs for the lamps that my youngest brother and his wife got us as an engagement present, and we now each have our own lamp on a nightstand, like real people. It's so neat. We also have shelves in our bedroom, so that stuff should end up on the floor a little bit less.

It's starting to come together. Tomorrow, we juggle. Friday, we clean. And Shabbat, we have a nice house. Maybe this week, I'll actually cook the chicken...

(oh, you want to hear about the raw chicken????)

(do you?)

Okay... last Friday, I was pretty tired and out of it. I put the chicken in the oven, and I turned on the temperature knob, but I forgot the cook setting knob, meaning the chicken didn't get cooked.

It's a good thing Yaakov loves cold cuts, and an even better thing that I try to make sure we have all of his favorite things in the house!

Btw, the chicken was delicious. Saturday night.

Good News...

While I'm still moderating comments to keep people from telling you where to get your %#!$ enlarged or your free Ipod, Ipaq, Iquack, etc, I've changed settings to allow anonymous comments.

So comment away, friends!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

ups and downs.

Yaakov is sick, so he's been home, mostly sleeping, occasionally peeking into the kitchen to see what food may have materialized. The latest is vanilla caramel ice cream, although the caramel isn't in it yet.

Last week, I made strawberry, coffee, and vanilla choco-chip. The coffee was for my sister, who had a birthday. I made it with real espresso, and she and her husband (and a kid or two) said it came out good. :)

So little is happening. It's kind of strange. Today, we were supposed to go to an amusement park with Yaakov's company, but obviously, with him sick, it's impossible. It's too bad. I haven't been to an amusement park in years.

We didn't go to any bonfires last night.

and the good news:

Our bookshelves finally arrived! We ordered them right after we got married. We haven't gotten around to assembling them yet, because Yaakov's feeling sick, but they're HERE!

We booked our flights to Ireland. Hey! I'm going to IRELAND! AND - After that, we're going to spend a day in Zurich!

This summer, I'm going to see two new countries!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Twin Demons.

They've caught me, the twin demons; depression and insomnia.

I'd been doing pretty well staying away from both. Maybe today I pushed too hard. I've been exhausted lately, and today I decided I was going to get a bunch of things done, so first I called this shop where we'd ordered shelves, and yelled at them a bit about the fact that we ordered said shelves in MARCH.

Then, I took my sister's 1-yr-old to the park, so that my sister and her husband could do some heavy lifting and such without having to worry about the baby. After that, I went hunting in the storeroom for the missing piece of a table. I found it, in the workshop, pretending to be carpentry wood. Then I started assembling the table, discovered I was a screw short, and went to the hardware store. I got the screw, assembled the table, set it right-side-up, put it in the correct corner of the living room, etc.

Then I moved my computer into the living room, and hooked it up to the ADSL. Up until now, we'd been on cable, and I was a bit scared that the DSL wouldn't work, but it did.

Anyway, I'd been planning to do a few more things, but I was too tired. But I can't sleep.

And now, suddenly, my head is running through old memories. In my mind, I'm slipping on snow in Washington, DC and laughing. In my mind, I'm sitting in some unknown basement with girls from my class and singing and eating raw string beans. Somewhere there's a t.c. lying on the floor in a classmate's house, taking a Shabbat nap next to a whole group of friends. Somehow, in this time warp I'm experiencing my first weeks after aliya. I'm sitting on the steps in Givat Ram, singing to the moon and trying to juggle. I'm sharing a bottle of outcider with a guy from the boy's dorm, because I already feel tipsy just a few sips in, and I can't admit it to my roommate.

And then I'm so lost. the memories just flood and flood. There's no order. They come in chaotically. A day at the beach with my sister when I was ten or eleven, crying at the airport the summer my sister made aliya when I was seven. Playing laser tag in eleventh grade. At a kumsitz in a Holiday Inn in Pennsylvania.

It's amazing, the flood just goes on and on. I feel it like someone shouting into my mind. I can't turn off the memories. They go every which way. Happy, sad, nostalgic, the best and worst. I wonder if this is what they mean when they talk about your life flashing before your eyes.

If so, it's not the feeling you have when you jump out of a plane...

So now, I can sit here, and the demons are in me and with me. There are tears on my face, and I can't sleep. I remember I used to think that this would stop when I wasn't alone anymore, but I guess the truth is that alone comes from inside.

Still here? maybe.
t.c. Goodman

Monday, May 01, 2006

A Little Schizophrenia



It's almost Independence Day. But before we get there, we need to get through Yom Hazikaron, the day when we remember all the soldiers we've lost trying to keep our country.

I didn't realize how they did this so close together until my first year in Israel. Suffering from then undiagnosed pneumonia, I sat on my sister's couch, simply reading names off of the television screen. Channel one carries the names of soldiers killed in Israel's battles. The whole day, you just keep reading names. They keep going and going. If you move to channel two, you can find out who these names were. You can hear the songs they wrote, the poetry. You can meet the girlfriends, brothers, sisters, and parents they left behind. You can hear their last letters home, and you can almost get to know these mostly young boys who died so so early.

If you turn on the radio, you can hear every sad song ever written by an Israeli. You can hear about the children conceived after the Yom Kippur war. They say "you promised a dove with an olive branch." and they remind their parents "We've grown, we're now in the army...now we are men and women, now we dream babies. and that is why we aren't angry and we don't demand... you promised to keep your promises."

You'll hear Ehud Manor's song to his younger brother Yehuda. He remembers Yehuda's shining eyes solving a riddle, and he tells his brother, that his new son is beautiful as him, and he will be called Yehuda. Maybe you'll hear Shlomo Artzi talk about comforting a friend's wife. What I can tell you is that if you listen, you'll hear a plethora of songs of people crying for their friends.

For one day, you will be transported to a country where almost everyone has lost someone close to them in the battle for survival. And just as you sink into despair, you will remember why.

Because all at once, you'll hear the news, you'll hear that the Yom Haatzmaut ceremonies have begun, and then the news will end, and if you're watching television, you'll see Jewish children dancing. If you're listening to the radio, they'll suddenly play something happy, telling you that this is the holiday we've all waited for.

So how do we live with this schizophrenia? We have to. If we don't remember every soldier who died trying to give us safety, then what is this beautiful country worth?

This year, though, we commemorate another tragedy, one in which our own soldiers were used as tools to destroy what our brave citizens have built. This year, I understand why some Jews don't see the State of Israel as a miracle. This year, I see reason to mourn even on Yom Haatzmaut. This year, we commemorate the loss of homes and communities of Israeli Jews. And this year, even with all that's been lost, I still see the beauty of what is. I cry for those who lost their lives defending us. I cry for those who lost their homes from the governments stupidity and evil. Yet, still, in all the sadness, I see the children dancing, and they were born in Eretz Yisrael, and they've grown up in a Jewish country.

And I'm just a tiny bit envious of them.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Zionism.

For the first time since I moved to Israel, I will not be hanging a flag for Independence Day. It makes me very sad, but my husband feels very strongly about it, and his happiness is more important to me than a piece of cloth, no matter what it symbolizes to me.

He didn't, however, mention anything about blogging about it. (ah the beauty of loopholes).

Y's claim against Zionism is that the country of Israel was created for a specific kind of Jew. I'll buy that. There are a lot of dirty little secrets in the history of the country. There are stories of stolen Yemenite children, systematic removal of religion from newcomers, and more.

It's true that religious Jews were placed in non-religious kibbutzim to help them "get over all that backwards religion stuff." Last year, after our seder, one of our guests, an older man, said that he hadn't been at such a nice seder since he left Europe. He meant that he hadn't been at a religious seder since then, since he'd been placed on a kibbutz here in Israel.

So why am I still a Zionist? It's complicated. First, I have difficulty separating between the land and the country, because I know that the land I live on was fought for by secular Zionists and religious Jews alike. I know that the Zionists formed this country for some of the wrong reasons, but also for a lot of the right reasons. Since the country of Israel came into existence, any Jew can live in the land of Israel, for the first time in 2000 years.

Yesterday, I was at my niece's school for a Holocaust Remembrance Day ceremony. My niece was one of the soloist singers, and she was excellent, but what really bowled me over was hearing a hundred or more children singing "Hatikva" - the hope.

"Hatikva bat shnot alpayim" - The hope is two thousand years old
"L'hiyot am hofshi b'artzenu" - to be a free nation in our land
"Eretz Zion V'Yerushalayim" - the land of Zion and Jerusalem.

These children are growing up in the land of Israel, they have never experienced this hope, yet they are learning about it. They are learning that we waited two thousand years to live here.

And they live here.

If that's not a miracle, I can't imagine what would be.



*This post was sponsored by DrSavta.com, who provided the ride to the ceremony, as well as some of the raw material which created the aforementioned niece.

sponsorships

Since people have repeatedly tried to spam my blog, I am now offering sponsorships of individual posts. All you have to do is 1. pay me, and 2. have a site that is honest and legal.

So, for example, if you want to promote your widget site, I'll write all about how your widgets are the cutest widgets around on my blog and then, with any luck, you'll get some clicks.

Monday, April 24, 2006

You Never Forget How to Ride a Bike...

Well, that's the theory, anyway.

I went biking today, and discovered that while I didn't lose that nifty balance thing that took me many many years to learn, (seriously, I couldn't ride a two-wheeler until I was NINE) I did forget how to feel comfortable on a bike.

I was so stressed that my fingers almost melted into the handlebars... It's only been 16 years since I last went biking... How much can you forget in 16 years? Apparently your confidence can easily be forgotten in that amount of time. I remember being comfortable on a bike. I wasn't comfortable today...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Honeymooners?

Some people take a wild honeymoon to Cancun, where they lie on sandy beaches, drink cocktails, and enjoy romantic oil massages...

Some go Alpine skiing....

And some go to juggling festivals.

Guess which group I fell into?

So this week was the 13th annual Israeli Juggling Convention, which afforded me some interesting opportunities.

For example, I was given the opportunity to live for three straight days on matza, gefilte fish, and tuna. I owe a great debt of gratitude to the Trachtmans who fed me grilled veggies and matza brie (or however you spell it).

I also enjoyed learning what it's like to be a duck by waddling through pouring rain, getting soaked, and trying desperately to protect my pillow from the rain.

In addition, I had the fantastic opportunity to sleep across several curved chairs in a gym full of noisy people.

After that, I had the good fortune to be able to sleep on rocks in a tent...

Oh... and the good stuff... I got to see a world-class juggling show. I got to spend time with great people. I got to go swimming with my husband in a natural stream in a beautiful park. And most importantly, I got to spend three days with my husband away from the hustle and bustle of the regular world...

now if I could just remember the air mattress and raincoat, maybe next time could be even better!

t.c. Goodman

Monday, April 10, 2006

an interesting note...

My dog started barking as if someone were at the door, so I went out to check who was there, and overheard my neighbor saying "this dog doesn't stop barking"

I was home most of the day. The dog only barks when someone's at the door or when she takes her dog out.

so yes, every time she's in earshot, he's barking.

amusing.

Cleanup.

Pesach cleaning is upon me, which means that I'd like to whine a lot.

However, my mom claims that whining makes a blog boring.

So I will spare y'all the details, and just say that I worked hard today, and it barely made a dent. Tomorrow will certainly be fun.
heheh.

In other news, Yaakov and I spent Shabbat alone for the first time. It was very nice being able to just be together with no real responsibilities. I made yummy food, and it was a nice Shabbat overall.

Sunday, I got back the pictures from the photographer, and they're really great. I will hopefully post pictures soon, but right now, it's low on the priority list.

The video isn't back yet. I'm looking forward to it. I hope it'll be done soon.

Over Pesach, Yaakov and I will be at the Israeli juggling convention, and after Pesach, I will, G-d willing, be starting a job working from home for a company where a lot of my friends currently work. It'll be nice to have a salary again. I'm looking forward to it, although it will cut into my sleep time... It's frustrating to need so much sleep. I'm practically living on cappucchino, and it's barely making a dent.

I got back blood work, and it's not telling me much. Other than finding out that one test tube got messed up... All the usual suspects are in order. If anything, I should be feeling much better than usual, not worse. My cholesterol is down, my triglycerides are down... even my thyroid seems to be behaving.

So, when can I have a caffeine drip put in???

Anyway, I've degenerated into whining, so I'm going to cut this short...Happy Pesach all!

t.c. Goodman

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

On macaroni and popsicle sticks

You always know who your best friends are. They're the ones who are at your side at your best and worst.

Yesterday, I was reminded again who one of my best friends is. I went down to my mailbox, and there it was, exactly what I'd asked for, a popsicle-stick picture frame, complete with a great picture of Yaakov, me, and a whole family full of friends.

It's true that Yaakov's never met those friends, and the paste job was more amusing than professional, but the accompanying letter which said that she was including a picture from that time we all went out together really touched me.

On the macaroni end of the spectrum... my neice said that if we return her gift, she'll replace the macaroni with something that isn't chametz! :)

We're so grateful for all the gifts, all the little notes, and all the words of wisdom and encouragement from all our friends.

And if you're still looking for the perfect gift for us, please, no challa boards...

t.c. Goodman

Sunday, April 02, 2006

more and more blessings...

Tomorrow is the last day of our first week of marriage. This week has been incredibly full with Sheva Brachot, the 7 blessings of marriage. Every day, we have had at least one meal with a minyan, a gathering of ten men.

After the meal, following the grace after meals, the blessings are recited. In addition, it is customary that the meals be provided by others as a gift for the newlyweds.

Which means we've done a lot of eating, I haven't cooked anything, and Yaakov and I haven't yet had an evening to ourselves.

That's okay, though. The nights have been wonderful... Everyone wants to know how we spent our wedding night... We pulled all the bobby pins out of my hair. After about three hours of that, we fell asleep. Yaakov made it as far as the bed, but I collapsed on the floor... no, not really... it only took about 25 minutes to get the majority of the pins out. I only found a few more when I washed my hair.

Other nights have been spent doing such exotic things as: calling Yaakov's relatives in Canada(5am is a great time for that); washing dishes; folding laundry; and discussing how to discipline the dog when he pees on the floor.

But really, we are blessed. This Shabbat, we had the great honor of sharing a real joy with my sister. Yaakov was called up to the Torah in honor of being a groom, and shortly thereafter, Ohad, my sister's husband, was called up to the Torah to name their baby girl, Naomi Hallel. (to be called Nomi.)

Almost as exciting is the fact that we were informed today that we will soon be grandparents... yes, that's right...

About a month ago, I hosted a dog named Barbie, who was in heat, at my house. Poofy seemed to be very cozy with her, and now, she is pregnant, expecting very soon. Yaakov and I are still in disagreement over whether or not we will have a grandchild live with us. Yaakov is apparently not up to the responsibility of handling two dogs, and he doesn't believe I am (or should be) either.

So we're very very blessed. Now if we could have a few less blessings and a little more quality time with the pillow...

t.c.