Sunday, October 26, 2008

Shrouds

Curtains are supposed to be bright, cheery. They're supposed to accent a room. They're supposed to be thin enough to let the light in and thick enough to provide a measure of privacy. Not these. These are beige, thick. They are only to block the world's eyes out. They must be kept closed at all times, lest the unsuspecting world see my hair, my elbows, the distant image of my unclad legs.

They feel like they lock me in to a world too hot and stuffy to be lived in.

When I go out, the skirts bind my legs together, rubbing skin against skin until it is raw and wants to bleed. They prevent me from sitting comfortably. They make me feel that I have to be hidden. That somehow, I am so unholy that I must be kept away from the light of day.

My hair, too. is shrouded. It too, is wild and evil, and must be reined in. Heaven forbid anyone should see the stray wisps of hair. No, Push it forward. Forward. More. Better yet, cover it all, cover your face. Stay inside and never be seen. Wilt away in the darkness. A king's daughter's only honor is inside.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Open Letter to Anyone Who Wants to Help Me Lose Weight

Dear all you well-meaning souls,

1. I am in my seventh month at the moment. The large bulge in my abdomen might be related to the BABY who is currently residing there.

2. I own a mirror. More than one, actually. I can tell that I am overweight. Your pointing it out is not helpful. Rather, it is incredibly rude.

3. I have heard of the South Beach Diet, the Atkins Diet, the Pritikin Diet, the Popcorn Plus Diet, the Cabbage Soup Diet, the Zone Diet, and probably a few more that you've never heard of. Most of them are incredibly dangerous, especially during pregnancy.

4. The fact that a specific diet helped you lose those stubborn 3 ounces left over after your last pregnancy doesn't mean that it would actually help someone who has a real weight problem.

5. Talking about how fat you are when you can wear a size 4 is obnoxious. Shut up about the extra ounce of fat already! Complain to me when your doctor refuses to treat certain issues because they're "to be expected" at your weight.

6. I don't have to justify my weight to you. If you don't like how I look, then stay away from me. If I don't like how you talk to me, I certainly do my best to stay away from you. Perhaps I should suggest some courses on how to be tactful. I assure you that you need it more than I need to lose weight.

Thanks,
t.c.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Might be Broke, but I Ain't Gonna Fix it

DrSavta can't upload pictures to her blog posts. I tried to update her WordPress to the latest version, and lost her entire blog.

Fortunately, her hosting service has complete backups. I rolled everything back to yesterday.

Net time: 2.5 hours.
People who were upset: 3
Net result: she still can't upload pictures.

Anyone know how to migrate WordPress to Blogger?