Friday, December 28, 2007

Going Out of My Head

Because of my sister's blog and blogroll, I've gotten to know about support networks through the blogosphere, but I'm not infertile (or at least Kinneret doesn't think so).

I'm just having a never-ending headache. I don't know where to get support for that, or for the depression I experience EVERY morning when I wake up and the pain is still there full force.

I have great friends who give me all kinds of moral support, but none of them know what this feels like. They can't understand what it's like to have my head hurt and my baby screaming and know that I'm not being the kind of mother I want to be. And have it continue day after day.

It's impossible to put into words how I felt when I had to tell the woman I work for that I need to take some time off. This means putting off getting a car even longer, since we can't afford one without my salary. I haven't been able to take driving lessons, which means I'm still far away from getting my license.

I haven't been able to keep up with the basics like laundry. I consider it an achievement that I manage to keep the baby washed and in clean diapers.

I feel like this headache has taken over my life and everything that means anything to me is disappearing into the ether. Yaakov is running out of patience for me. My mom is downright sick of me. My friends need me to be there for them in other, important ways. I keep pushing to keep going through the pain, but it's getting harder and harder.

I've now been to two neurologists, one of whom was very thorough, but didn't have any particularly helpful ideas for stopping my pain. He gave me one medication while I was at his office - it's a fast-acting medication that you're supposed to take while experiencing the aura. So I did. And on the way home, I felt intense burning and pressure in my head.

so I took the other medication he recommended. In extremely high doses, it seems to ease the pain slightly. slightly.

I'm really starting to lose it. I don't know what to do.


Anonymous said...

A friend of mine was also in a really bad shape, and no neurologists helped, untill he got to this uber-famous headache specialist in NYC (where he was living at the time) at $500 a meeting(!!), and he quickly figured out he was missing some odd chemical and a few pills balanced it out and got rid of the headache. I can't remember what it was now, some metalic element or something. you just need to get to some head honcho, like in Tel Hashomer or maybe get your tests to Rabbi Firer, who is an amazing diagnostician, I heard.

Did any of those doctors who gave you pills do any CT scans? blood tests?

Bethami said...

Wish I could say more than "Really sorry, hope you feel better soon."
I really do.
Keep your chin up and keep trying to figure out whats going on.
If you'd like someone next week to come sit with you, or to provide some stimulation for Baby K, you know where to find me.

mother in israel said...

Oy, I am so sorry to hear about this. I hope you find a support network for migraines--I have heard of alternative treatments. I have a friend who suffered terribly--I am going to send you her number.

Tamiri said...

If you can seek out alternative treatment, I second MII's advice. Sometimes it's a simple as a missing "something" (you did mention a baby... did you have these pre-baby?) and sometimes it's mold or something in the walls of your home.
Refuah Shlayma

Emah S said...

May sound hoaky but it sounds like you're at the point where you'll try have you tried ACCUPUNCTURE??? I have had success in treating backpain through accupuncture in the past, and I know they treat EVERYTHING, so it may be worth a shot. Also, it may be worth it to go and see a CHIROPRACTOR....maybe you're out of alignment as they say from the birth??? Hang in there and good luck!

MizEllie said...


First of all, I'm so sorry you're suffering with this.

I have two suggestions that may help, as I have several friends who have suffered through constant migraines.

One of them tried every medication under the sun and none of it worked for her. She was finally helped by acupuncture.

Another friend went to every doctor, underwent every test and nothing helped until her dentist finally suggested treatment for TMJ. Worked like a charm.

Hope this helps!

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

Have you tried acupuncture? I've heard of people having success. Other then that, I can only say that I hope it gets better.

Abbi said...

I'm really sorry also. I wish I knew a specialist or someone who could be really helpful. I second trying to go through ezra l'marpeh, or some organization like that.

Possibly an allergy? Maybe try seeing an allergist who can put you on an elimination diet or try to pinpoint a problematic food or even cream? I have a friend who suffered terrible pain in her legs, and then her whole body, they did numerous tests, mri's, for everything serious (cancer, etc.) and couldn't find a thing. She was also really incapacitated. In the end, she discovered it was a severe allergy to ginger and sesame. She was suffering terribly and her parents were also losing patience (they didn't even really believe her)

:( I hope you find some relief soon.

Rachel Inbar said...



Abbi said...

Update: i spoke to my friend and it turned out that was really giving her incapacitating pains in her joints and body was her birth control pills. Not sure if that's relevant in your case, but I just wanted to pass that along as a possibility. (Maybe you've started a new pill or something like that?)

I found a headache page on as well:

Miriam said...

Refua shelayma!

my first thought was ' I wonder what doctors you've seen' I am sure you are getting expert advice there.

Have you ever read "Eat Right for Your Type" according to that book it explains that eating according to your blood type eliminates lots of health problems. Things aren't so cut and dry.

Ex: (according to the book, NOT ME) TYPE O -lkes lots of meat and can tolerate it. even though all the health documents encourage easing on the meat. If type o did ease up, they could suffer ulcers.

type A -tend to have low acid levels and so should stay away from meat as much as possible. etc.

anyway, I just learned all this so maybe it was to relay it to you. Or not.