Sunday, December 14, 2008

A FAQ for Those Spending Time with a Pregnant Woman

Q: The pregnant woman appears to be eating quite a lot. When should I stop her?
A: When she starts eating your vital organs, you may suggest something else instead.

Q: When can I tell a pregnant woman that she's gaining too much weight?
A: When you have a death wish.

Q: If I'm out and I see a woman who I think is pregnant, what should I do?
A: If you don't see a baby coming out of her, keep your mouth shut.

Q: When is it appropriate to touch a pregnant woman's belly?
A: Unless you're her OB/GYN or her husband, only if you're invited to.

Q: Why do pregnant women glow?
A: It's called sweat. The little person inside of them functions as a heater.

Q: What should I do if my pregnant wife wants the house cooled below freezing?
A: Buy yourself an extra blanket. Or take hers. She likely won't notice.

Q: But won't that cost a lot in electricity?
A: You're about to have a kid. Electricity is nothing compared to a college education.

Q: My pregnant wife is crying. Why?
A: While it's probably somehow your fault, a pint of Ben & Jerry's might help.


SuperRaizy said...

Words of wisdom.

Ben-Yehudah said...



Please submit this to HH.


Rachel Inbar said...

And one other question. If I am a man, when should I say, "labor doesn't really hurt, it's just uncomfortable"?

triLcat said...

Refer to question #2.

frumhouse said...

Great list!

Mrs. S. said...


BB said...

I love it. Well said!

Baila said...

Very funny!

Mikewind Dale said...