I've completed 33 weeks of this pregnancy. That means that my baby should weigh almost 4.5 lbs, and that in another week, the lungs should be fully developed. It means that my baby is packing on fat nicely. It means that the future of this baby looks very very good.
Unfortunately, it also means that I'm in the end phase. I'm in the phase where my body is completely unwieldy, where I have one t-shirt that fits me for sleeping in, where my whole tummy and everything else itches fiercely. I'm at the point that even if I weren't choking on the allergens in the air, my lungs are already too squished to breathe comfortably. My back is well beyond the point of being able to support my weight. I'm exhausted. I'm uncomfortable in every position. The palms of my hands and soles of my feet feel like they're on fire. My face sweats no matter what I do.
Oh, and I'm so hormonal I can barely even get out a simple sentence without breaking into tears.
I've gotta tell y'all... this pregnancy thing is not easy. And I still have 7 weeks until the due date, not to mention the fact that if I'm like my mom and sister, then I've got 9 weeks before they induce me to get this child out.
I'm starting to break down. I mean, I really feel like I'm beyond my limit. I know that this is nothing - I should be happy that this pregnancy is basically free of complications. The nausea is long-over, I don't have gestational diabetes, significant swelling, bleeding (or even spotting). This is about as easy as a pregnancy gets. So why am I not glowing? I just don't know... I don't even have half of the things that my pregnancy book warns me are totally normal and expected, not to mention the scary awful ones...
Do other women really go through this and then CHOOSE to have more children? And why did nobody tell me how difficult pregnancy really is? Would it have made a difference? Probably not, but... I wish I'd known what I was getting into. Then again, it might have made it all that much worse. I don't know... I'm so confused.
Everyone tells me that after the pregnancy is over, I'll forget how bad it is, and I'll be willing to go for it again. I hope so, I guess. I did plan on having more than one child, but the way I feel now, I just can't imagine going through another pregnancy...
Okay, enough whining for one day. I have other (semi-interesting) things to write, but no patience to write them... so Shabbat Shalom for now.