Friday, March 24, 2006

Wishing I could write...

I have so much to say, and yet, I'm having trouble getting out a single sentence.

Everything is going according to plans, and nothing is.

My sister is spending this Shabbat in Jerusalem in the hospital, waiting to be induced so that she can deliver.

For my Shabbat Kalla, I find myself surrounded by friends, and yet more alone than I could have imagined. I had planned to have my sister's older daughters with me, because I knew that she couldn't make the walk now, in her 9th month, but they are with one of my brothers, away from here.

I should be happy. My sister, with G-d's help, will be having a baby soon. But right now, thinking about spending my last Shabbat as a single woman here without her, I can't stop crying.

Next week, with G-d's help, I will be with her on Shabbat, and either she will be naming a baby girl, or at the bris of her baby boy, and I will be spending my first Shabbat as a married woman, enjoying the seven blessings. Next week, things will be better, I pray.

But right now, I really miss her.



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