Sunday, February 06, 2011

It's Potty Time, Let's Grab Some Floor Rags.

Both of my children are officially toilet trained. This should make me happy, but instead, it means that I'm cleaning the floor a lot. I mean an awful lot. At least every day. Often 2-3 times a day, which is quite a big considering that they're out of the house most of the day.

I think Ephraim's regressed because Yaakov is out of the country. I hope when Yaakov comes back (tomorrow! YAY!), it'll improve. In the meantime, I'm just... frustrated.

On other fronts, Kinneret and I have a personality conflict these days. She is constantly testing the limits and I'm constantly losing my temper. I often feel like the worst mother ever. Today I yelled at her for telling me to make her aruchat eser. It really drives me nuts when she tells me what to do. To be fair, I was awakened this morning by the smell of nail polish, which Ephraim had spread all over the floor. It doesn't exactly give one the best start possible...

Ephraim has developed some really strong feelings about pretty much everything. Last night, he insisted on going to sleep with a large wooden toy in his bed... go figure. About that I didn't argue, but I got pretty annoyed when I gave him a cookie and he threw it on the floor, and I don't love that when he's finished eating, he overturns his plate or bowl instead of just stepping away from the table or pushing it back or some other less messy signal.

They're both so cute and so sweet and they're growing every day, and I feel like I'm so frustrated and stressed from cleaning up accidents, preventing disasters, trying to get them to listen, etc that I'm not enjoying any of it.

Yaakov thinks he'll have to go out of the country yet again in another week or two. I keep reminding myself that it means air miles and per diems and shopping, but honestly, I really don't like being a single parent.

I have lots of support from all around me, but in the mornings, when I'm tired from middle-of-the-night wake-ups that can't be ignored because Ephraim wanders the house, and the dog is desperate for a walk I can't give until the kids are dressed, and I'm washing the floor repeatedly, I don't feel very supported. I feel very very alone, and not very happy either.

I apologize for the negative post, but sometimes, being a parent is just.... not all positive.

1 comment:

Jules: said...

It gets better. Hang in there!