Another Saturday Night

The big news for the week is that I appear to have gotten a job. It's not clear when I start or whether I'll be working at an office or at home, but I was told that I'm hired. I'm very excited and more than a little bit nervous. I hope things will go well. 

Yesterday and today were better on the food front, but I'm still not back to non-eating.

Friday: 

breakfast: coffee and a granola bar

lunch: yogurt drink (300 cal)

snack: coffee and a granola bar

Dinner: chicken soup, 1 slice of challah, salad, 1/2 chicken breast, 1 chicken thigh, 1 chicken leg, 1/2 cup rice

Saturday:

breakfast: coffee

lunch: 1 bowl chicken soup, 

snack: fruit salad, 1 slice of cake, celery

dinner: 2 chicken breasts

Another Wednesday

Food-wise, today was good, not great. We have no veggies in the house at all. I have to buy some tomorrow morning. 

Breakfast: yogurt drink, coffee

lunch: omelet sandwich on light bread, salad, coffee

snack: red pepper slice, coffee

snack: granola bar

Dinner: rice with salami (too much salami)

I need fireballs. I'll have to figure out how to get more, since they don't sell them in Israel. :(

Getting Back on Track

I'm not 100% on track yet, but today was much better. I'm still down 6 kilos, so no damage over the holiday. Hopefully, when I re-stock the house, things will improve.

Breakfast: coffee

lunch: coffee

snack: 1 square chocolate, 1 handful potato soup nuts, 2 cherry tomatoes

dinner: 2 pitas with 1% fat pastrama

Losing Momentum

So, again, I feel like no one's reading. More than that, I feel like I'm not really on the plan. Today was a bit better than the past few days, but I'm still eating entirely too much carbs. I hope when Pesach's over, things will even out a bit.

breakfast: coffee

lunch: roast, apple kugel (3 pieces), potato kugel (2), 1 piece of matza, avocado, salad w/ salad dressing

dinner: strawberries, 1 vanilla pudding cup. 

Chag Sameach and Shabbat Shalom

Today was kind of a tough day. Ephraim was home, it was raining, and Yaakov and Kinneret are away at the juggling convention. My fantastic neighbor let us come over and hang out for a while, which made the day move and stopped the constant flow of Diego videos. I'm told that Diego is the Spanish of Yaakov, so it makes sense that Ephraim would want to watch it constantly... 

I miss Yaakov and Kinneret, though I'm enjoying the lack of whining. Kinneret has a tendency to whine about things even when we haven't said no... as in "mommy I wannnt waaaater," and I'm like, "could you please ask in English instead of whine-language?" 

I've been reading "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk" and so far, it's a good read. I'm hoping that learning the techniques in the book will help me yell less and feel more like the situation is under control even if the kids aren't exactly. I feel like I get angry too often and yell too often with Kinneret. With Ephraim, I feel like I have more patience. I'm not quite sure whether it's his behavior or my attitude. It might be a combination of the two. I perceive him as very vulnerable, while I perceive Kinneret as very tough. The truth is almost the opposite. Kinneret is very sensitive and gives up easily. Ephraim is persistent and self-assured. I'm not sure where I go from there... hmmmn. 

On a totally different subject, I think that matza makes you hungry. There's no other explanation. I never eat very much of the carbs anyway, but somehow, this week, I'm ten times hungrier. I feel like I'm in good company, though. Two of my Facebook friends said they got somewhat off track during the holiday too. Today, I had the obligatory matza brei for the chag... I discovered that I don't like it with wet matza. I like the matza crispy... oh well. 

Anyway, here's today's food:

Snack: banana, coffee

breakfast: matza brei - 2 matzahs, 2 eggs, 1 onion, olive oil, a tiny bit of butter

snack: coffee

lunch: cottage cheese & strawberries

snack: coffee, 4 marshmallows

Dinner will be whatever my mom serves, as she's graciously invited Ephraim and me for supper. I assume there will be apple kugel... yum. 

Day 3 of the Omer

I'm trying to count the omer this year. For those who don't know what that means, the omer is a period of 50 days between Passover and Shavuot. You're supposed to count off the days and the weeks in that time period. "You shall count for yourselves seven complete sabbaths" is how the Torah puts it. 

So you count each evening, after dark, for seven weeks, and when you finish, you celebrate receiving the Torah, which was seven full weeks after leaving Egypt. The counting is easy. Remembering to count... not so easy. Men who pray each evening are more likely to remember, but for women, it's a real challenge. 

Today, I tried to re-assert control, and was somewhat successful. It's very hard without my fireballs. They give me the sweet and the strong flavor and take a long time to eat, so I use them to kind of finish off the day. I miss them.

breakfast: yogurt drink (350 cal)

lunch: cottage cheese and strawberries

snack: potato chips (small bag, 100 cal), celery (a lot)

dinner: turkey meat, chicken breast, chicken soup, 1/2 slice matza, 1.5 pieces apple kugel

after: 2 small pieces of cake

problem: I'm still craving sweet.

In which I Try to Get Back on the Wagon

I'm still not quite on the program, but today was a better day.

Breakfast: cottage cheese and strawberries, coffee

snack: 2 small pieces of pesach cake

lunch: 5 marshmallows

Dinner: 3 bowls of chicken soup, 1/2 matza, chicken breast, piece of corned beef, 2 marshmallows, 

After: 1 pear, some strawberries

Seder Decadence

So Yaakov has been talking about his grandmother's charoset for years. Every Pesach, he talks about the vats of charoset and how he spreads it on matza and he's kind of wistful about it.
This year, his cousin was here and they were discussing it. It turns out that his cousin has taken over the yearly charoset-making. She called her mother to get the recipe, and we made a quick batch of the special grandmother's extra-alcoholic charoset. In addition, my oldest brother brought us (virgin) charoset with pears and raisins. Both were deadly delicious, and I ate a lot of both on matzah. I feel like I've really fallen off the wagon. I need to reclaim control...so, starting now... I'm back on the plan.

Here's the food..

Monday:
Breakfast: cottage cheese and strawberries
Lunch: handful of potato chips, carrot
Dinner: piece of celery, piece of lettuce, 2-3 pieces of matzah, charoset, egg in salt water, gefilte fish w/ chrain, chicken soup w 2 matzah balls, 1 piece of potato kugel, corned beef, 4 glasses of grape juice

Tuesday:
Breakfast: an ice pop
Lunch: 3 pieces of matza with charoset, 2 bowls of chicken soup (w 1 matza ball and a small amount of "soup nuts") 1 chicken breast, 1 small piece of cake, salad

Dinner: 2-3 pieces of matza, 1 chicken breast, salad, lots of corned beef

In Which I Forget to Blog for Three Days

So Thursday, I just forgot to blog. I didn't really remember to eat either. I had 3 yogurts and some cottage cheese, I think

Friday, I had coffee, then a big gigantic yogurt drink that was about 400 calories, and then I went to give blood. Apparently, I hadn't eaten enough. I got sick mid-donation and they had to pull the needle out :( Does anyone know if they can still use it if it's not a full pint?

We went away for Shabbat.

Friday afternoon, I didn't get a chance to eat until late, and then all I had was some almonds.

Dinner was a bit of a disaster. I had a whole roll, a fair amount of rice, some hummus... and dessert in addition to the chicken and fish.

Saturday was a complete disaster of a day. I can only comfort myself with two things. One, I didn't drink any sugared drinks and two, three months ago, I would have eaten more. I'm not going to list all the garbage I ate. It's too depressing.

This morning, I was up half a kilo. :( 

Today was a better day.

Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 small potato roll, salad, coffee

snack: coffee, cherry tomatoes, red pepper

lunch: cottage cheese

snack: shesek (loquat)

I haven't figured out dinner yet. I'll update the post when I get there.

In Which My Neighbor Feeds Me

So the fridge is steadily emptying. I've really gotten over my desire to eat anything because of the mess involved. Today, my neighbor told me that I need to eat lunch, and I said "but I don't have any food in the house..." so she invited me over. So sweet of her.

breakfast: cottage cheese and strawberries, coffee
snack: coffee
lunch: 3 kebabs, peas (at neighbor's house)
dinner: 1 hot dog, 3 pieces of pastrama (1% fat), tomato soup
after: fireball

Fridge and Freezer are Almost Empty

Actually, the freezer's full again. I just got a delivery of meat for Pesach. I keep thinking that string beans don't qualify as kitniyot. They really shouldn't. They're wet, they don't come in burlap bags, they don't expand when you cook them, and they're not that small. I do, however, value my marriage more than a week of eating string beans, so I won't be buying them this year.

Today was a weird day. I just didn't feel like eating all that much.

breakfast: cottage cheese and strawberries, coffee
snack: coffee
lunch, eaten very late: yogurt drink (400 cal)
dinner: steak and string beans.

Monday, Driver's License Woes

Some of you know that I don't have a driver's license. I had one in the US and I let it lapse and it's beyond renewal now. Today, I went to take the written test and they told me I can't because the doctor had marked something as "yes" on the medical form. I asked the doctor not to mark it and he said it's no big deal, but it actually is. The form now has to go to a special doctor for approval before I can take my written test. Annoying. So I was in a rotten mood today. Usually, when I'm in a rotten mood, I eat. So I actually went to McDonald's today. I got a burger, a salad, and a diet coke, which is about 600 calories total... not as dreadful as it could have been, I guess. I found out that I don't really miss the fries that much. That was a total shock for me. I thought it would ruin the experience, but actually I enjoyed the salad, and the burger was heavenly. I obviously can't do it on a regular basis, but it really didn't wreck the day's eating that badly. Dinner at my parents', where they're trying to use up the chametz, on the other hand, was less than optimum.

On a totally different subject, Ephraim fell asleep holding two of my fingers tonight. So sweet. 

Breakfast: yogurt

Snack: yogurt

Snack #2: yogurt (we notice a theme?)

lunch: McRoyal, salad, Diet Coke

snack #3: carrots

Dinner: sweet potato soup (less than 1 cup), mixed vegetables, 2.5 pre-made schnitzels, 2 mini-borekes

after: fireball

Sunday. The Cupboard is Bare

I ate really badly today because there simply isn't any food in the house. 

Breakfast: 2 granola bars, coffee

Lunch: can of beans in tomato sauce

Dinner: chicken soup (left over), string beans, 2 slices beer bread, turkey pastrama

after: fireball

Friday & Shabbat

I feel like I should say something interesting, but I can't think of anything. I practiced juggling for about 20 minutes today. That's kind of like exercise.

Friday: 

Breakfast: Halva flavored yogurt drink (400 cal), coffee

lunch: cottage cheese & strawberry & banana, 

snack: 2 granola bars, 1 can baby corn, 2 tablespoons couscous, 10 chocolate chips. coffee (I had a little bit of a hunger attack)

dinner: chicken soup w/ lots of zucchini, chicken breast, 1/2 cup rice

Saturday: 

Breakfast: coffee

lunch: sweet potato soup, 2 turkey schnitzels (the kind from the freezer), lots and lots of zucchini, fruit salad (yummy yummy)

snack: coffee (w/ soy milk)

dinner: chicken breast

Missed Thursday

I fell asleep at 6pm... Guess I was tired out. 

Here's the food:

morning snack: granola bar, coffee

lunch: coffee, sole fillets with couscous and broccoli

afternoon snack: 4 cookies. (oops)

fell asleep. 

Week's Almost Gone

Today was a good day. I skipped breakfast because I woke up late, but the rest of the day was good. I'm stressing a little, because I finally have work to do and it's exactly the wrong time of year... Pesach cleaning is ... well, going slowly. My job search is in full swing... I have some promising leads. In short, I'm busy busy busy.

Here's the food:

Morning Snack: Granola bar

lunch: cottage cheese and strawberries.

afternoon snack: yogurt

munching: 1/4 veggie burger, handful of string beans, 1/8 avocado

Dinner: chicken soup with veggies, including 2 chicken breasts

after: fireball. 

Tuesday

I didn't manage to get out for a walk today, which is really bad. When I was thinking about my eating today, it seemed awful, but now that I've written it down, it doesn't seem so terrible. Though I did eat around 250 grams of ground beef.

Breakfast: coffee, cottage cheese & banana

snack: granola bar

Lunch: miso soup, 2 sushi rolls, 2 nigeri

snack: yogurt

dinner: ground beef mixed with mixed vegetables and a little tomato sauce, 3 taco shells

Another Manic Monday

So today, I'm in full-swing. It feels like I'm eating too much, I'll be shocked if I actually lose any weight this way.

breakfast: cottage cheese, coffee

lunch: fish (sole), mixed veggies, pasta

snack #1: granola bar

snack #2: granola bar + coffee

dinner: cottage cheese, pasta, asparagus

after: fireball

Sunday - Really Trying the New Plan

So I'm still feeling upset about the new plan, but I'm really going to try. The scale showed me down a full 5 kilo, so yay! All I have to do is make that happen another 7 times and I'll be home free ;) I walked for over an hour today. 

Breakfast: missed it - woke up too late

Lunch: cottage cheese and fruit salad 

Snack #1: granola bar

Snack #2: strawberry yogurt

Dinner: fish & frozen veggies  in the toaster oven, 3/4 cup rice, soy sauce

Shabbat.

I'm feeling all messed up by the new plan, and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it. I really dislike vegetables  for the most part. Raw veggies make me seriously sick in large quantities and I can only eat so many string beans and zucchini which is pretty much all I like cooked. Shabbat was neither here nor there. I wasn't on the new plan, wasn't on the old... just tried not to eat ridiculously. Tomorrow morning, I start the dietitian's plan. I have a stomach ache just thinking about it. It makes me want to quit entirely... but I'm going to do my best to give it a chance.

Breakfast: coffee, granola bar

Lunch: salad - mix of beans, rice, & ground beef, fruit salad

snack: 1/4 apple, coffee

snack: fruit salad, 1/4 apple, 2 crackers, peanut butter (about 1.5 tablespoons)

Dinner: mix of beans, rice, & ground beef. fireball

Friday, April First

Today, I finally saw the dietitian. It was just what I feared. She wants me to change the way I eat and I'm scared of it. What I've been doing seems to work for me. The new plan involves 5 meals a day with 3 proper meals and 2 snacks. I'm scared that it requires me to eat stuff I don't like (vegetables) and that I'm not going to lose weight on it. 

Today, so far

Breakfast: Coffee, yogurt w/ fruit and granola

Lunch: 2 eggs, 2 slices light bread, tomato, cucumber.

snack: granola bar, coffee

tonight will be mushroom barley soup, chicken, salad, and fruit salad.

Some Thoughts on Dieting

So here are some things I've learned, in no specific order:

1. Never eat anything that doesn't taste good. If I eat a food that doesn't taste good, I feel like I need a do-over for the meal, so I will eat something that does taste good, meaning the first food was just a total waste of calories.

2. Eat things that take a long time to eat. An artichoke is very little food, but it takes forever to eat, so two artichokes takes longer than a meal, leaving me feeling like I ate a very big meal.

3. 100 calories per 100 grams... I aim to eat foods that are 100 calories or less per 100 grams. The fewer calories per 100 grams, the better. I love the yogurt drinks. The melon flavored one is 58 calories per 100 grams. The peanut butter is 111cal/100g. If I drink a 500 ml drink, that's a difference of  265 calories, and I really am just as full. The peanut butter one does satisfy certain cravings though.... It's hard to remind myself how much those calories mean.

4. I eat real sugar. I tried agave, b/c it has a lower glycemic index. Unfortunately, it's less sweet, so you need more, and the calorie count is just as high. Plus it's loads more expensive. Sometimes, I'll use nutrasweet for something, but it does feel like deprivation, and deprivation is a lousy feeling.

5.  I haven't learned to listen to my body yet. I still feel like I'm always hungry or at least could always eat. I almost never feel full because I don't allow myself to eat to that point - though soups help, because if a soup is relatively healthy, I'll allow myself pretty close to unlimited amounts of soup, even if it has lentils or barley in it. 

6. The scale is unreliable. If I weigh myself twice in an hour, it says different numbers...

7. Some of my clothes are already fitting better! 

8. It's been 6 weeks, which feels like a bazillion years, roughly speaking.

9. I don't like fish very much. In the early stages, I tried making fish, but I really didn't like it. 

10. When I drink water through a straw, I drink much much more water.