Sunday, August 05, 2012

Am I a Liar?

There's a question that's really been plaguing me lately I don't know quite how to define it. I'm in a fibro flare. I'm in intense amounts of pain pretty much constantly, and exertion aggravates it some, though I'm not really sure how much. Ibuprofen helps a little, but even with the highest safe dose, I'm in a considerable amount of pain.

Here's where the problem comes in – Say Ephraim falls asleep on the couch. I can pick him up and take him to his bed. It hurts, but once I put him down, I don't think I'm in any more pain than I was before. Say I'm at my desk working or watching a video or something, getting up is painful, but again, once I reseat myself, I'm not really in any worse pain than I was before. So is it fair for me to ask my husband to handle these things when I *can* do them?

I tend to say 'I can't' when I mean 'it will hurt me.' That's a lie. I can. But it's so hard for me to force myself to do painful things. And it's so hard for me to explain how much pain I'm in or how much things hurt me without seeming like a whiner.

I don’t want to be a whiner. I don't want to be considered lazy. And I don't want to be in pain.