Might be Broke, but I Ain't Gonna Fix it

DrSavta can't upload pictures to her blog posts. I tried to update her WordPress to the latest version, and lost her entire blog.

Fortunately, her hosting service has complete backups. I rolled everything back to yesterday.

Net time: 2.5 hours.
People who were upset: 3
Net result: she still can't upload pictures.

Anyone know how to migrate WordPress to Blogger?

Vietnam and Cambodia - Kosher

Kosher Tour to Vietnam and Cambodia – All Included, in English or French!

Shai Bar Ilan Geographical Tours will be offering, for the first time ever, a kosher tour to Vietnam and Cambodia in English and French. All meals, flights, hotels, and day trips included!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE– Sep 28, 2008 – Shai Bar Ilan Geographical Tours is offering a very special tour to Vietnam and Cambodia for English and French speakers this fall.

The dates for this incredible 18-day trip are November 24- December 11.

All meals are included and are kosher. Tours are appropriate for Sabbath-observant Jews, although there is no requirement to keep Sabbath or kosher while on the tour. The tour will be guided in two separate groups – one with a French-speaking guide, and one with an American English-speaking guide. As an added bonus, anyone who signs up before Saturday, October 25, 2008 will be automatically entered in a drawing for a free woven blue and gold Cambodian tablecloth, and will receive a free genuine pearl necklace!

Tour leader Dr. Rona Michelson says “Be prepared to see a country unlike anything you could have imagined. Vietnam is a country that has majestic mountains, verdant rice terraces, colorful ethnic minorities, beautiful beach resorts, bustling cities, and an ancient culture. We will board a boat to see Halong Bay, one of the most beautiful places in the world. We will see river life along the Mekong Delta. And to cap the trip, we will see the magnificent buildings of Angkor and Angkor Wat. This is an unforgettable experience!”

Be sure to look at the pictures at: http://picasaweb.google.com/DrSavta/VietnamAndCambodia

All this is available for under $4500, including flights from Israel, per person in a double-room! Travelers joining from other countries will receive a price reduction and assistance in organizing flights to join the group.

For a detailed itinerary and pricing information, see http://10topics.com/vietnam-kosher-tour.htm

For more information, call Rabbi Aaron Michelson & Dr. Rona Michelson:
Israel: 052 574 0573
UK: 0-800-404-9504
US: 1-866-500-5864
Rest of the world: +972-52-574-0573

About Shai Bar Ilan Geographical Tours: Shai Bar Ilan Geographical Tours has been providing kosher Hebrew-speaking tours to exotic locations around the world for over thirty years. In the past five years, Shai Bar Ilan Geographical Tours has expanded their staff to provide English and French tours to the same fantastic locations. With American and French guides, tourists from around the world are guaranteed not only a guide who speaks their language, but a tour leader who understands them and their unique needs.

I Don't Want to Hurt You. I Just Want to Make You Kosher!

Recently, DrSavta quoted one of the funnier films from my childhood...The Frisco Kid.

As a child, one of my favorite scenes was the one where Avram (Gene Wilder) is chasing a chicken and says "Come here little chicken. I don't want to hurt you. I just want to eat you. I don't want to hurt you! I just want to make you kosher!"

So... I haven't been hunting chickens... Instead, I've been hunting chicken pot pie recipes...
My friend Scott found this one, which looks terribly complicated. Here's the problem. Among the ingredients are butter and milk, which... for those who keep kosher, don't work well with chicken.

Also shortening is not easy to buy and is not part of my standard cooking repertoire.

So, chefs and chef wannabes, can I make the crust with just margarine? Should I use "butter flavored?" Should I make it with entirely shortening?

For the filling, should I substitute with margarine or is oil ok?

For the "milk," should I use rich for coffee, pareve cream (there's one without sugar), soy milk, coconut milk?

Help!

Who Uses a Synagogue?

I live in Modiin, a medium-sized town which currently has over 80 thousand residents. It's slated to be the fourth largest city in Israel, behind Tel Aviv, Haifa, and Jerusalem. It's supposed to eventually have 250 thousand residents.

There are synagogues in town. The Israeli government mandates a minimum number synagogue space for a given population. One of the older synagogues in town is my synagogue. It was intended as a Sfardi-Ashkenazi synagogue, to hold one service for everyone. There was a basement designated as a reception room. For a while, all was well. Then people moved into the neighborhood. The synagogue overflowed. No problem. We split the basement into a separate service. The Ashkenazim were the smaller group, so we got the basement. Excellent. We have a space. They have a space. All was well.

People raised money to build an ark, buy a Torah-reading table, and benches for the men's section. The women's section uses plastic keter chairs. Still, all is well.

We have a makeshift mehitza - a translucent curtain that hangs from a piece of wire.

We have 40-50 families who pray at our shul (Yiddish for synagogue). On a regular Sabbath morning, we have two minyanim (services), one at 6:45am and one at 8:30am. On Friday nights, the men's section is packed, but far from overflowing. When there is a Bar Mitzva, the guests generally find seats in the men's section, but the women's section often becomes quite zoo-like. This is mainly because the chairs move easily. Most of the Bar Mitzva's in our shul are of neighborhood families who are not members of our shul. That's fine. We welcome every Jew.

The worst is Yom Kippur. We are a synagogue. It is the high holy days. We do not turn Jews away from a synagogue on Yom Kippur. We do not tell old ladies that they cannot sit down because they haven't reserved seats. I know there are places that do that, but it goes against everything I believe in.

So each year, the crowds get worse. Those of us who do pay for seats can't get to them. I'm told that the men's section is just fine, but for those of us who are banned from that section by virtue of our gender... getting into the synagogue on Rosh Hashana morning and Yom Kippur evenings is simply horrendous.

Which is why I get a little irked when non-religious people say that synagogues won't serve the majority of Modiin residents. Actually, if there are literally one hundred people trying to shove into my synagogue beyond the number already packed in by design, then take a count. The majority is speaking loud and clear.

*Bonus points to anyone outside of my family who can explain why the picture is relevant.

Bad News, Good News

The bad news first... My hamster, Mishmish, committed suicide. Seriously...she died in a botched escape attempt from her cage. It's very sad and kinda gross. Fortunately, my dad decided to join the ZAKA hamster squad, and I'm no longer quite as traumatized.

The good news... is that there's a great opportunity to go to Vietnam & Cambodia on a Kosher, shomer Shabbat trip!

If you want to go to some really exotic places, eat jackfruit, and have a great time, this is THE trip. Don't miss out!

Halacha vs Immorality

This is a far cry from my usual life update- navel contemplation, but I feel like I need to step up on my soapbox about something.

Over on Wolfish Musings (and, yes, I desperately need to update my blogroll), Wolf was talking about the statement of Rabbi Pinchos Lipschutz saying that YU is acting "like Amalek" by allowing a professor of modernist American poetry, Jay Ladin to return after a two year absence during which he has begun taking hormones and has transformed himself into Joy Ladin.

Do I agree with Professor Ladin's behavior? It's an interesting question. I think if I were a parent and my child made that choice, I would be quite upset. As someone whose life is completely unaffected by it, I really can't judge... and that's my point here.

Rabbi Lipschutz may be able to say that there is a halachic problem with it. Transvestism is absolutely forbidden by the Torah, "A woman must not put on a man's apparel (beged ish), nor shall a man wear woman's clothing; for whoever does these things is abhorrent to the L-rd, your G-d." (Thanks, Jewish News Weekly, for the translation.)

However, lighting a fire on Shabbat is also forbidden. We may say that one is labelled as abhorrent (to'eva) while the other isn't, but it is abhorrent to HASHEM, not to humanity.

Transvestitism and homosexuality are, simply put, not moral issues. They are religious issues. It is true that these are non-standard behaviors, but as long as all related acts are between consenting adults, the ramifications should be left between the doers and G-d. It is not our place to judge people, any more than we should judge a person who drives on Shabbat or eats a cheeseburger. We may cry out for their neshama, but we do not have a right to mistreat them or hurt them.

For Yeshiva University to fire this professor while there are other professors on staff who eat non-Kosher, drive on Shabbat, aren't careful about nidda, or are careless about lashon hara would be, simply speaking, hypocritical.

For the Jewish community to raise outcry against a transgendered person while child molesters are still not being properly dealt with is beyond hypocrisy. It is evil!

Helping Agunot

Over at The Muqata, Jameel is helping out in a new initiative taken by the Israel Rabbinate to help women whose husbands have disappeared to avoid giving their wives a proper divorce.

Someone near and dear to me was an aguna for fourteen years, so this is a subject very close to my heart.

Please look here to see if any of these men* are hiding in your community.

*yes, I'm using the term quite loosely.

Who Took My Picture?!

Over Pesach, we went out to Sachne for the Israeli juggling convention. At night, it got so hot that I slept outside the tent to get more air.

Who took my picture and posted it to the Fail Blog?


see more pwn and owned pictures

(no, it's really not us - Yaakov closed the tent so the mosquitoes wouldn't get in. Plus, I was wearing flannel pants, not jeans)

Trish and Bob

I wrote this when I was in college. It has some inaccuracies and some problems, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway... it has some interesting points. Comments are welcome, but please be polite.

------

Okay, who are Trish and Bob?

No, wait. don't make this sound like the dating game. This is Tisha B'av, a holiday, not a couple. In fact, as holidays go, this one is pretty anti-couple.

Why?

Well, it's a sad day, so we don't do happy-couple things.

I see. So what IS Tisha B'av? What does the name mean?

Well, the name means "the ninth of Av" and Av is a Jewish month, following Tammuz and preceding Elul.

Pretty straightforward name, not too original.

No, not very, but then again, it's not a particularly happy day, not one you want to give a special name to..

What's so sad about it?

Well. The first and second temples in Jerusalem were destroyed on this day.

So we're mourning the tearing down of a building?

No, we're mourning a lot more. You see, the destruction of the temple not only meant losing a large war in a big way. It didn't even just mean a lot of deaths. It meant the destruction of a country and way of life.

But we're still Jews. They didn't destroy our way of life.

Wrong. Our way of life was centered around the sacrifices brought in the temple. If a person sinned unintentionally, they brought a sacrifice. On holidays, people brought sacrifices to the temple. The Cohanim lived and worked for the temple. When a woman gave birth to a baby, she brought a sacrifice, and when the high priest came out of the holy of holies on the afternoon of Yom Kippur, the day was suddenly transformed from the solemnest to the happiest day of the year, and the girls wore their white dresses and danced in the fields. On Sukkot, the simchat beit hashoeva was the happiest, biggest, most impressive party ever seen. No.Our way of life was destroyed. We rebuilt it, slowly, over a few hundred years, but it's nothing like how it was.

I see, I think. But why don't we build a new one?

Well, there are a lot of reasons. The first being that we don't know exactly where the holy of holies stood, and no one is allowed to go to that place -except the high priest on yom kippur in the afternoon service, that is. That's actually the best reason, because almost everything else can be worked around. We have the blue dye for the priests' clothing, we have the measurements for ever inch of the building.We don't have a red heifer, but we could probably get one, and even if we don't we could still offer sacrifices on the temple mount, because we're all equally impure...but we don't have the full knowledge that wee need to find the holy of holies, so it's all pointless.

so it's lost and gone forever? why?

Well. It's not forever. We tend to believe that when the messiah comes, we will rebuild it. But in answer to why, well. It seems like it was our own fault. You see, in the time of the first temple, the vast majority of the world was composed of idol-worshipers, and being very much into "cultural relativism" and "political correctness", we got into that too. I mean, we did some really bad stuff, to the point where within sight of our holiest place, the temple, we had human sacrifices going on. Pretty terrible, really. So G-d sent the Babylonians to put us in our place, or maybe to get us out of his. That was in 586 bce.


Now, these two guys, Ezra and Nechemia, decided to come back to Jerusalem and rebuild the Jewish nation both physically and spiritually. They did a nice job, rebuilt the temple, the country, and the nation. These were the people who began the custom of reading from the torah every week. They made a fairly spectacular second temple, which held up until 70ce.

Why was the second temple destroyed?

Well, you see, we got into a pattern of causeless hatred of our fellow man. For example, there was a case of two men with similar names being confused, and the wrong one being invited to a party. Instead of the host being hospitable and allowing the wrong guest to remain, the host publicly asked the man to leave the party, and when the man said he was willing to pay for his food rather than be embarrassed in such a way, the host refused, and made him leave.

That's pretty mean

Yeah, G-d thought so too, I suppose. That is, I suppose that G-d believed that a nation of people who would do such things wasn't a nation fit to be a "light unto the world", and since we weren't fulfilling our part of the bargain, the Romans were sent to help G-d stop fulfilling his. From then, 70ce, until 1948ce, we didn't have a country.

That's almost 2000 years

Yes, and in those two thousand years, the Jewish people has been persecuted over and over again, in every country in the world. The Crusades, The blood libels, the Spanish inquisition, the pogroms, the HOLOCAUST, and the list continues to build. Even in our own country, we are threatened daily. The independence war, the Yom Kippur war, the War of Attrition, the Six-Day War, the Munich Games Massacre, Entebbe, The Intifada, The scuds during the Gulf War, and the list of bus bombings seems endless. Even just in the past year, we've had three major bus bombings, and a huge bombing in one of the nation's busiest malls, not to mention the bombing of the Jewish Community Center in Argentina. (note: this was written in 1996 or 1997)

I see what you mean. Since the Romans expelled us from our land, it's all been one nightmare after another.

Exactly.

So what's it about this day that makes it so unlucky?

Lashon Hara.

What? Isn't that a type of dance?

No. Lashon means tongue, and Hara means "the bad". That is, when you speak badly of someone or something, even if it's true, it's a sin, and it's called Lashon Hara

Where does THAT fit into Tisha B'av?

Well, before we came into Israel, we sent spies to check out the land. We sent 12, and ten came back with fairly lousy reports. In other words, they spoke out against the land G-d had promised us, a land flowing with milk and honey. Now the people got scared because of their reports, and thy started to cry. Supposedly, that day was the ninth of av, and G-d made sure that we had something Real to cry about on that day.

So, aside from crying, and not doing happy-couple things, what else do we do or not do on Tisha B'av?


Well, we don't bathe, shower, swim, or even wash our hands.

Wait, that's gross. You have to wash your hands when you come out of the bathroom, right?

Yes, but unless there is dirt on the hand, you can only wash from the knuckle to the top of the finger.

Okay, is there more?

Yes, you can't eat or drink anything, unless you are pregnant, nursing, under age 12, or sick. You have to read megillat Eycha, and kinot, and you can't wear leather shoes, and it's preferable to sit on low chairs.

Is that it?

Yeah

Whew, that list was getting long. It seems like we have to be in total mourning.

We do. And doesn't it make sense to? Look at all we've lost.

Feelin' Kroovy!*

*Kroovy is the Hebrew name for the character Grover!

So my sister went to San Francisco, and she met Grover, for real. See here.

Me? I went to the mall and had a chocolate souffle... so hey, I can't really complain!

I Think She's Teasing Me

Today, while Kinneret was sitting in her high chair, eating a salmon cutlet (fishie schnitzel!), she gave Poofy a piece.

"Kinneret," I cried "we don't feed Poofy!"

She mumbled something back at me which for all the world sounded like "well, I do" with appropriate intonation.

I swear she can talk, she's just holding out on me.

Good Day!

Today, I decided I was going to have a good day. I took Kinneret and we went to the gym. I put her in the babysitting, and I did 30 lengths at the pool (not great, but not too bad either).
I'm currently at precisely the weight I was when I started my pregnancy (not bad for 15 weeks).

Of course, tonight my appetite went wild (it was only chicken, but it was a LOT of chicken), so we'll see how long that lasts.

Anyway, I spent about 1.5 hours in the pool with Kinneret, who was in a kamikaze mood today. She kept trying to drown herself, and I kept having to force her to keep her head above water. (She wanted to sit down - on the floor, not on my lap - even though the depth is such that it lands her mouth and nose under water.)

When we got home, she crashed for a good 2.5 hours. I took a shower and then found my own crash site... I love to sleep.

When we woke up, I made her an omelet, and then our friends Bethami and Eden (3) came over. It was very nice seeing them. Eden wanted to hug Kinneret all the time, and Kinneret seemed a bit indifferent to the affection, but it was pretty cute anyway. I wish I'd taken pictures. We'll have to invite them back soon!

By the time Bethami and Eden left, it was time to take Poofy for a walk and meet Yaakov at the bus stop. Yay!

Psalm for Today

In memory of Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Regev.

א אל-נקמות יהוה; אל נקמות הופיע.
ב הינשא, שופט הארץ; השב גמול, על-גאים.
ג עד-מתיי רשעים יהוה: עד-מתיי, רשעים יעלוזו.
ד יביעו ידברו עתק; יתאמרו, כל-פועלי אוון.
ה עמך יהוה ידכאו; ונחלתך יענו.
ו אלמנה וגר יהרוגו; ויתומים ירצחו.
ז ויאמרו, לא יראה-יה; ולא-יבין, אלוהי יעקוב.
ח בינו, בוערים בעם; וכסילים, מתיי תשכילו.
ט הנוטע אוזן, הלוא ישמע; אם-יוצר עין, הלוא יביט.
י היוסר גויים, הלוא יוכיח: המלמד אדם דעת.
יא יהוה--יודע, מחשבות אדם: כי-המה הבל.
יב אשרי, הגבר אשר-תייסרנו יה; ומתורתך תלמדנו.
יג להשקיט לו, מימי רע-- עד ייכרה לרשע שחת.
יד כי, לא-ייטוש יהוה עמו; ונחלתו, לא יעזוב.
טו כי-עד-צדק, ישוב משפט; ואחריו, כל-ישרי-לב.
טז מי-יקום לי, עם-מרעים; מי-יתייצב לי, עם-פועלי אוון.
יז לולי יהוה, עזרתה לי-- כמעט, שכנה דומה נפשי.
יח אם-אמרתי, מטה רגלי; חסדך יהוה, יסעדני.
יט ברוב שרעפיי בקרבי-- תנחומיך, ישעשעו נפשי.
כ היחוברך, כיסא הוות; יוצר עמל עלי-חוק.
כא יגודו, על-נפש צדיק; ודם נקי ירשיעו.
כב ויהי יהוה לי למשגב; ואלוהיי, לצור מחסי.
כג וישב עליהם, את אונם-- וברעתם יצמיתם;
יצמיתם, יהוה אלוהינו

Psalm 94

1 O LORD, the God who avenges,
O God who avenges, shine forth.

2 Rise up, O Judge of the earth;
pay back to the proud what they deserve.

3 How long will the wicked, O LORD,
how long will the wicked be jubilant?

4 They pour out arrogant words;
all the evildoers are full of boasting.

5 They crush your people, O LORD;
they oppress your inheritance.

6 They slay the widow and the alien;
they murder the fatherless.

7 They say, "The LORD does not see;
the God of Jacob pays no heed."

8 Take heed, you senseless ones among the people;
you fools, when will you become wise?

9 Does he who implanted the ear not hear?
Does he who formed the eye not see?

10 Does he who disciplines nations not punish?
Does he who teaches man lack knowledge?

11 The LORD knows the thoughts of man;
he knows that they are futile.

12 Blessed is the man you discipline, O LORD,
the man you teach from your law;

13 you grant him relief from days of trouble,
till a pit is dug for the wicked.

14 For the LORD will not reject his people;
he will never forsake his inheritance.

15 Judgment will again be founded on righteousness,
and all the upright in heart will follow it.

16 Who will rise up for me against the wicked?
Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?

17 Unless the LORD had given me help,
I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.

18 When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O LORD, supported me.

19 When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul.

20 Can a corrupt throne be allied with you—
one that brings on misery by its decrees?

21 They band together against the righteous
and condemn the innocent to death.

22 But the LORD has become my fortress,
and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.

23 He will repay them for their sins
and destroy them for their wickedness;
the LORD our God will destroy them.