Continuing.

It's hard to write after a post like the last one. Anything I have to say seems trivial when I compare it to the loss of a really special person. On the other hand, this blog isn't intended to be a memorial to Dr. Rudoff (Z"L). And, if I did that, I would know that she was looking down on me from above and absolutely loathing me. She wasn't an attention-hungry person.

So I have to continue. This Shabbat, I finished a book called Round Robin. It's the second in a series. I highly recommend reading The Quilter's Apprentice first. The books talk about life in a small town, but concern a whole plethora of other issues.

The first book begins with Sarah, a young wife who gave up a well-paying but unsatisfying job to follow her husband's career path in a small town. Struggling to get a new job, she accepts a temporary position helping Sylvia, a difficult old lady, prepare her estate to be sold. In exchange, Sylvia helps Sarah learn how to quilt. Through quilting, Sarah and Sylvia start to heal their hurts, including a long-ago rift between Sylvia and the only family she has. Filled with gentle language, real problems, beautiful descriptions, and a few surprises along the way, The Quilter's Apprentice is a really special book.

t.c.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

Blessed is the true judge - that's what Jews are supposed to say when someone dies.
I'm having a very hard time saying it today.

Dr. Shaindy Rudoff passed away yesterday, Saturday June 10th.

Shaindy was short and bubbly with curly blondish hair. She was in her thirties, and had a doctorate in literature. Her online CV says her research interests were Nineteenth-century American literature and culture, American popular culture, religion, and literature. She started Bar Ilan's Creative Writing Program a few years ago, and managed to make a success of it.

It's hard to imagine someone so alive not being alive anymore. I know she was sick for a long time, but I never saw a moment of weakness. I never saw her sad or down. I didn't know her very well. I'm sure her close friends saw her weakness, but what she showed the world... there was always a smile, always a bounce.

So today, although I say those words, Baruch Dayan HaEmet, in the Jewish tradition, I can't help but ask why? Why do you take away a person who does so much for so many people? Why?

And I know the answer.

Lev 10:1 And Nadav and Avihu, the sons of Aaron, took each of them his censer, and put fire therein, and put incense thereon, and offered strange fire before the L-rd, which He commanded them not.
Lev 10:2 And there went out fire from the L-rd, and devoured them, and they died before the L-rd.
Lev 10:3 Then Moses said unto Aaron, This is it which the L-rd said, saying, I will be sanctified in them that come near me, and before all the people I will be glorified. And Aaron held his peace.

There it is I will be sanctified in them that come near me. B'krovai Akadesh. G-d takes the best back to Himself.

Goodbye Shaindy. And thank you.

Some More on the Conference.

I seem to take absolutely forever to blog anything new about this conference.
Today, I'll tell you a bit about Sophie Judah, the latest thing on the writing scene. Her Jwalangar Stories will be coming out in spring of 2007. So, even before she becomes famous, I'll tell you that I knew her when....

Okay... I didn't know her when she was that young. When I met her, her daughters looked like that.

Sophie grew up in India, and is part of the Bnei Yisrael Jewish community. Sophie writes about life in India, and about the place of the Jewish community. Sophie's stories mix the triumphs of children, their failings, familial love, and familial infighting, all with the beautiful flavor of the rich Indian culture and the spirituality of the Bnei Yisrael community. While her stories are so richly tied to the atmosphere they describe, the messages apply to every one of us, regardless of our own roots.

I can't wait to read her book. I've heard a lot of her stories, and Sophie is an incredible story teller.

t.c. Goodman

Editing Test Weirdness

I got an email from my friend, saying that I didn't pass her company's editing test.
I think that's really strange. The only thing I can guess is that there were some strange conventions that they followed through the entire piece, and since they were valid by some standard, I let them remain there. Either that or they expected more fact-checking. I don't know. It's very odd to me.

Anyway, that job really would have taken up too much of my time, so it's probably just as well.

(That isn't sour grapes, really. I was pondering whether or not I had the time and energy for it, and basically came to the conclusion that they'd have to offer me a mind-boggling amount of money for it to be worthwhile.)

The truth is, it's much more important for me to be writing, so I should probably get to that right now and stop pondering some annoying editing test.

t.c. Goodman

Give a dog a blog.

My sister and I decided that really my dog needs his own blog.
No, I'm serious. Here it is... Give a Dog a Blog
So that's one of my new projects.

In addition, I'm getting closer to having all the necessary materials for my NY driver's license, so that I can get that thing renewed. My parents lost my social security card. how much does that stink? harumph!

Plus, I was asked to take a test for an editing job. I'm reasonably confident that I'll pass the test. The question is whether they can offer me enough money for me to want to take the job.

In other news, I'm planning on launching a new website soon. It's still a secret, but I'll be announcing it soon enough!

Today's big news is that I managed to swim for the first time in...forever. yay! And, more importantly, I did the full kilometer.

Anyway, I'm going to go get myself something to eat... cya.

t.c. Goodman.

Yaakov-and-Leah.com has been updated

It's been completely revamped, but there isn't so much going on there yet... I hope to change that soon.

t.c. Goodman


* this post was sponsored by Two Left Feet LLC, Virginia's best dance school for couples.

More on the Creative Writing/Literature Conference

So I wanted to report more about the Bar Ilan English Literature Department's Creative Writing conference.

But first, before I get all literary on you guys, I'll tell you what's happening in triLcatLand.

Today was Yaakov's Hebrew birthday (the one he celebrates), so I tried to make a sort of party for him, but nobody managed to make it except Scott the Juggler, who was in Modiin doing a show. I did, however, make Yaakov some kick-tush strawberry ice cream, with lots of real strawberry goodness.

I also made mint chocolate chip, which came out okay, but didn't quite freeze correctly, and... the container fell on the floor and shattered... Who knew plastic could shatter?!

I also watched Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I enjoyed it quite a lot. It's very much a chick-flick, but hey, I'm a chick, ain't I?

Last night, Yaakov and I watched Crash, a movie about crime in Los Angeles. It's one of those sort of artsy suspense films, where you have no clue what anything means until the very end. Apparently, it won some Oscars. I really didn't like it, though I could see redeeming qualities.

Anyway, back to the Literature stuff.

I missed a session or many... The one I went to Wednesday afternoon had a panel of four writers; Allen Hoffman, Shirley Kaufman, Jonathan Wilson, and Rifka Miriam. The panel was headed by Linda Zisquit.

Allen Hoffman teaches at Bar Ilan's Creative Writing Program, and is the author of Kagan's Superfecta: And Other Stories, plus three books from the Small Worlds series; Small Worlds, Big League Dreams, and Two for the Devil. He's working on the fourth book now.

Professor Hoffman (that's how I address him, because he's taught me several classes over the years, both undergraduate and graduate) talked about the trials and tribulations of getting his first book published. It was interesting hearing him talk about how his first story, Kagan's Superfecta, was the wrong length, too long for a magazine, too short for a novel. And that's how it ended up being the primary story in a collection of short stories.

I should really talk about the others, but I'm pretty tired, so I'll cut out for now...

Good night all,

T.C. Goodman

Bar Ilan's Conference.

This week was the Bar Ilan University annual conference of the Creative Writing Program.
As a student in this program, this was my fourth year in a row at the conference.

Being at the conference was really great. The first evening, we heard a reading by David Bezmozgis, the author of Natasha: And Other Stories. The book is a series of short stories about a Russian Jewish family living in Toronto. The stories are told from the point of view of a little boy. He read us the first story, called Tapka. It's a really interesting story about a little boy and a dog, but it's more about the earliest part of assimilation into a new society. I really want to get the book and read the rest of it.

There were a lot of authors there, and I'm really sorry I missed today's sessions. Unfortunately, I had a really bad day. I was really sick. I ran out of milk, and I haven't had the energy to go get more. I think I'm going to go back to lying down. It's amazing how much effort it takes to just be up.

so... more about the conference later.
t.c. Goodman

Yaakov's All Better.

Yaakov's feeling better, which means he's back at work. I miss him. It was nice having him home last week, even if he was asleep most of the time.

I'm trying desperately to accomplish things, and I'm just having a really rough time of it. I finally put up google ads on the blog, which is the first step towards putting up a real site and actually making a living. I really need to figure out what I'm doing...which domain to buy, what concept, and what the business plan is. I have so many ideas, but so little energy.

Today, I was up for about 4 hours before I crashed for 4 hours, and I'm already yawning again, just six hours later. I accomplished so little. I really wanted to at least make a batch of ice cream for my brother-in-law's birthday, which is tomorrow.

Oh, and a shout out to my Aunt Vicki - Happy Birthday!!!!

I did have a minor adventure today, though. I heard this sort of screaming/meowing sound outside. I opened my door to see what was going on, and a cat ran in. Poofy chased it around the apartment, and finally, I separated the two animals to get a look at the cat. I put the cat into a cat carrier (my sister left one in the storeroom downstairs, because it's a spare cat carrier and my whole family shares my storeroom), and tried to get Poofy to be nice. He didn't get the point, so I took the cat, in the carrier, and put it outside while I tried to figure out what to do. It was clearly a house cat, so I didn't want to leave it alone.

I tried to get the dog back into the house and I saw my neighbors peeking in and smiling at the cat. Apparently, my upstairs neighbors have a cat.

Well, Poofy somehow got filthy in this adventure, so he also got a bath tonight.

He smells wonderful, and feels sooo soft.

So I did accomplish SOMETHING today... now I can go to sleep. Good night all.

t.c. Goodman

Getting Stuff Done.

Wow! We assembled the bookcases last night.

I was going to put up pictures, but I accidentally resized the whole batch all wrong and I don't feel like taking more pictures. I really have to learn to not delete things until I've checked that the resize worked right...oh well.

Anyway. so we have bookcases in our living room. The computer is in the living room, frequently doubling as a television. We rearranged our bedroom so that Yaakov now has a place to put his glasses when he goes to sleep. Really, he has a WHOLE nightstand, all to himself. I got bulbs for the lamps that my youngest brother and his wife got us as an engagement present, and we now each have our own lamp on a nightstand, like real people. It's so neat. We also have shelves in our bedroom, so that stuff should end up on the floor a little bit less.

It's starting to come together. Tomorrow, we juggle. Friday, we clean. And Shabbat, we have a nice house. Maybe this week, I'll actually cook the chicken...

(oh, you want to hear about the raw chicken????)

(do you?)

Okay... last Friday, I was pretty tired and out of it. I put the chicken in the oven, and I turned on the temperature knob, but I forgot the cook setting knob, meaning the chicken didn't get cooked.

It's a good thing Yaakov loves cold cuts, and an even better thing that I try to make sure we have all of his favorite things in the house!

Btw, the chicken was delicious. Saturday night.

Good News...

While I'm still moderating comments to keep people from telling you where to get your %#!$ enlarged or your free Ipod, Ipaq, Iquack, etc, I've changed settings to allow anonymous comments.

So comment away, friends!

ups and downs.

Yaakov is sick, so he's been home, mostly sleeping, occasionally peeking into the kitchen to see what food may have materialized. The latest is vanilla caramel ice cream, although the caramel isn't in it yet.

Last week, I made strawberry, coffee, and vanilla choco-chip. The coffee was for my sister, who had a birthday. I made it with real espresso, and she and her husband (and a kid or two) said it came out good. :)

So little is happening. It's kind of strange. Today, we were supposed to go to an amusement park with Yaakov's company, but obviously, with him sick, it's impossible. It's too bad. I haven't been to an amusement park in years.

We didn't go to any bonfires last night.

and the good news:

Our bookshelves finally arrived! We ordered them right after we got married. We haven't gotten around to assembling them yet, because Yaakov's feeling sick, but they're HERE!

We booked our flights to Ireland. Hey! I'm going to IRELAND! AND - After that, we're going to spend a day in Zurich!

This summer, I'm going to see two new countries!

The Twin Demons.

They've caught me, the twin demons; depression and insomnia.

I'd been doing pretty well staying away from both. Maybe today I pushed too hard. I've been exhausted lately, and today I decided I was going to get a bunch of things done, so first I called this shop where we'd ordered shelves, and yelled at them a bit about the fact that we ordered said shelves in MARCH.

Then, I took my sister's 1-yr-old to the park, so that my sister and her husband could do some heavy lifting and such without having to worry about the baby. After that, I went hunting in the storeroom for the missing piece of a table. I found it, in the workshop, pretending to be carpentry wood. Then I started assembling the table, discovered I was a screw short, and went to the hardware store. I got the screw, assembled the table, set it right-side-up, put it in the correct corner of the living room, etc.

Then I moved my computer into the living room, and hooked it up to the ADSL. Up until now, we'd been on cable, and I was a bit scared that the DSL wouldn't work, but it did.

Anyway, I'd been planning to do a few more things, but I was too tired. But I can't sleep.

And now, suddenly, my head is running through old memories. In my mind, I'm slipping on snow in Washington, DC and laughing. In my mind, I'm sitting in some unknown basement with girls from my class and singing and eating raw string beans. Somewhere there's a t.c. lying on the floor in a classmate's house, taking a Shabbat nap next to a whole group of friends. Somehow, in this time warp I'm experiencing my first weeks after aliya. I'm sitting on the steps in Givat Ram, singing to the moon and trying to juggle. I'm sharing a bottle of outcider with a guy from the boy's dorm, because I already feel tipsy just a few sips in, and I can't admit it to my roommate.

And then I'm so lost. the memories just flood and flood. There's no order. They come in chaotically. A day at the beach with my sister when I was ten or eleven, crying at the airport the summer my sister made aliya when I was seven. Playing laser tag in eleventh grade. At a kumsitz in a Holiday Inn in Pennsylvania.

It's amazing, the flood just goes on and on. I feel it like someone shouting into my mind. I can't turn off the memories. They go every which way. Happy, sad, nostalgic, the best and worst. I wonder if this is what they mean when they talk about your life flashing before your eyes.

If so, it's not the feeling you have when you jump out of a plane...

So now, I can sit here, and the demons are in me and with me. There are tears on my face, and I can't sleep. I remember I used to think that this would stop when I wasn't alone anymore, but I guess the truth is that alone comes from inside.

Still here? maybe.
t.c. Goodman